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I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

W. C. Fields

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

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I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

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