black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

W. C. Fields

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes