If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDSI never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS -
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS -
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS -
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS -
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS -
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS -
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS -
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS -
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS