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I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

W. C. Fields

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

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I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

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