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I have never been carried around by a large boy, or laughed until my stomach hurt at the dinner table, or listened to the clamor of a hundred people all talking at once. Peace is restrained; this is free.

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Been Clamor Dinner Hundred Hurt Laugh never Peace People Restrain Stomach Table Talk

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You won,” Four mutters. “Stop.” I wipe the sweat from my forehead. He stares at me. His eyes are too wide; they look alarmed.
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He stares at me, and I don’t look away. He isn’t a dog, but the same rules apply. Looking away is submissive.
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In that moment I know exactly what I want; I want to peel away all the layers of clothing between us, strip away everything that separates us, the past and the present and the future.
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My mother once told me that we can’t survive alone,but even if we could, we wouldn’t want to. Without a faction, we have no purpose and no reason to live.
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I traded cowardice for cruelty; I traded weakness for ferocity.
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The fire, the fire. It rages within, a campfire and then an inferno, and my body is its fuel.
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I laugh, and it’s laughter, not light, that casts out the darkness building within me, that reminds me I am still alive, even in this strange place where everything I’ve ever known is coming apart.
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I have never been carried around by a large boy, or laughed until my stomach hurt at the dinner table, or listened to the clamor of a hundred people all talking at once. Peace is restrained; this is free.
VERONICA ROTH

Been Clamor Dinner Hundred Hurt Laugh never Peace People Restrain Stomach Table Talk

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