“If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.”

What we become depends on what we read after all of the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books.

A well-written life is almost as rare as a well-spent one.

Weak eyes are fondest of glittering objects.

Every day that is born into the world comes like a burst of music and rings the whole day through, and you make of it a dance, a dirge, or a life march, as you will.

Work is the grand cure of all the maladies and miseries that ever beset mankind.

No iron chain, or outward force of any kind, could ever compel the soul of man to believe or to disbelieve: it is his own indefeasible light, that judgment of his; he will reign and believe there by the grace of God alone!

A man lives by believing something.

Naps are a way of traveling painlessly through time into the future.

Writing is a dreadful labor, yet not so dreadful as Idleness.

Of all your troubles, great and small, the greatest are the ones that don’t happen at all.

It is the first of all problems for a man to find out what kind of work he is to do in this universe.

The world is a thing that a man must learn to despise, and even to neglect, before he can learn to reverence it, and work in it and for it.

If you look deep enough you will see music; the heart of nature being everywhere music.

Stop a moment, cease your work, and look around you.

There are remedies for all things but death.

Popular opinion is the greatest lie in the world.

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

I’m no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.

I had a nice dinner. I let the evening unfold, flow. I like to sit in a chair with a wine glass. When I woke up, I thought, ‘Why didn’t I go to bed at 11?’ I came back at 3 and went to bed at 5.

I am a sucker for those old traditional places, and Rome is as good as it gets, particularly when you throw in Italian food.

I make breakfast, which is usually Kellogg’s Red Berries or egg whites, and then I go to the gym that’s only 10 minutes away.

Any cook should be able to run the country.

We are not interested in the fact that the brain has the consistency of cold porridge.