I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
STEVEN WRIGHTDepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
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Clones are people two.
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All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
STEVEN WRIGHT