On the other hand, you have different fingers.
STEVEN WRIGHTDepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Clones are people two.
STEVEN WRIGHT