I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
STEVEN WRIGHTDepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
STEVEN WRIGHT