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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

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Angry Depression Enthusiasm One Liner Perspective Sick

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Coffee Myself Time
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Future One Liner Planning
If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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Money Thinking Worth Yourself
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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Animal Funny Herself Laughter Milk
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Destroy Evidence Success Try Yourself
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Funny Literature Word
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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Darkness Device Myself
If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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Children Funny Hands Himself Mom
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Abandonment Book Build Funny Myself Ocean Yourself
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Car Funny Yourself
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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Memories Photograph Yourself
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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Discipline Funny Himself Person Time
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Deep Funny Live Nature Ocean
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
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Appointment Dental Eat Herself Time Visit Wait
Clones are people two.
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One Liner People
All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Believe Funny Hands Myself Science Yourself

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