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I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

$Steven Wright Quote - Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.$

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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Funny Mathematics People Trouble
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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Funny Herself Myself Night Time Walk
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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Distance Time Walk Yourself
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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Funny Identity Person Play Race
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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Mathematics Pronunciation Sound
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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Funny Mad Music Myself Night Play
I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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Food Funny Myself Service Time
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
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Control Death Game Yourself
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Buy Fame Friendship Herself Popular Toy
If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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Hairs Himself Mirror Reflection See
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Funny Man Sad Yourself
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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Discipline Funny Himself Person Time
My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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Children Friendship Himself
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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Animal Evolution Monkey Science
Clones are people two.
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One Liner People
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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Alcohol Myself Photograph Thinking Woman

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