If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
STEVEN WRIGHTI’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Half the people you know are below average.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Clones are people two.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
STEVEN WRIGHT