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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.

Steven Wright

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Children Myself Quick Toy
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Animal Evolution Monkey Science
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Drive Learning Yourself
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Listening Mistake Yourself
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
STEVEN WRIGHT

Believe Funny Myself Police Reading See Stop Time
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Memories Photograph Yourself
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Idiot Ocean Stand Wait
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Advice Bird Deep Funny Patience Worm
You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Fall Feeling Myself Sit Time
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Children Deep Difference Growth Learning Old Philosophy See Teaching Yourself
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Eyes Myself Prescription Ran Walk
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Age Anxiety Funny Myself Time
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Goodness Myself Oneself Worth
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Break Up Imagination Myself Relationship
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Believe Funny Himself Man Stars Touch

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.

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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.

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Popular Authors

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