My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
STEVEN WRIGHT