Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
STEVEN WRIGHT