I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGANMoney can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN