Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN