Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGANBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN