I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






