In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






