Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGANTo Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN