In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGANTo Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN