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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.

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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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I told you I was sick.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Death Eat Hungry Myself

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