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This does not have to be a hard life to love. There is not enough time to let it stray too far from my hands.

Schuyler

I’m writing about moving again, and when I write about moving, I really mean beginning. I’m beginning again.
SCHUYLER

Beginning Deep Move Myself Writing
I will still live like a ghost in the mornings; walking, listening, pouring coffee to finish sometime by the afternoon, when I’ve had enough of watching the world and do all I can to live in it.
SCHUYLER

Enough Ghost Listening Morning Myself Walk
I know I could be an astronomer of this swooning.
SCHUYLER

Known Myself
For now, I’ll bring what I can to my own four walls. I recognize the purpose, the promise of this: a church is made by its space, by its practices.
SCHUYLER

Practice Promise Purpose Recognition Space
If every feeling comes like a wave, I try to decide what kind of coastline I’ll become.
SCHUYLER

Decision Feeling Myself Wave
I sit on the bare floor, leave my palms unturned, and watch relief pool into one hand, and uncertainty in the next. I will try not to lean more one way or another, but let them hold each other as company.
SCHUYLER

Company Floor Hands Leaving Myself Uncertain
In a dream, I’m holding you close and when I wake, I do. How lucky, to want and have.
SCHUYLER

Close Dreams Hold Myself Wake Up
Some mornings, I like to live like a secret; wake as quietly as I can, slip out of bed without so much as a wrinkle.
SCHUYLER

Live Morning Myself Quiet Secret Wake Up
My love lives in my cheeks – gives me away by the first smile. all the lines from years spent laughing, warm with extra freckles in the summer; a poker face that doesn’t keep once my knees fold.
SCHUYLER

Face Live Love Myself Smile Summer
Take me back to the evergreen trees; to the sunlight through the leaves, the bending ferns and fronds. The pitter of the rain, the smooth rocks sleeping under moss. Take me back to the life I know before this body.
SCHUYLER

Body Known Leaves Life Myself Sunlight Tree
Hold me here, where I feel less like a stranger to my own laughter. Where it’s easier to believe things happen for a reason or maybe, at least, out of a thousand winding roads my life might take, I will still find one that fits me.
SCHUYLER

Feeling Hold Life Oneself Reason Road Stranger
I descend into an unopened sky, the ocean floor, the final embrace of a graveyard. Find your fill of me before my blue pales like a sour moon.
SCHUYLER

Floor Grave Moon Ocean Open Sky Yourself
I’m thinking about how early the spring flower buds rise up from the grass; just barely on winter’s heels. How uncomfortable, how cold the soil must be, still half-frosted, when the roots start to take shape.
SCHUYLER

Comfortable Flower Myself Shape Start Thinking
Yes, this life is mine, but more often I watch it take place and my hands feel too far away to touch it.
SCHUYLER

Hands Life Myself Place Touch
The world will be loud again. I’ll notice the loneliness less.
SCHUYLER

Loneliness Loud Myself Notice World
I’m remembering again, how loneliness has always made me brave.
SCHUYLER

Brave Lonely Myself Remember
We’re in spring and I have learned how to be gentle and sharp; strong bark on budding trees. Hold out your hands. I’ll leave a pink kiss and a pocket knife.
SCHUYLER

Hands Learning Leaving Myself Sharp Spring
In a dream, my fingertips pulse. I’ll be patient in my blooming. In a dream, I let time pass through open hands.
SCHUYLER

Bloom Dreams Hands Healing Myself Open Patience Self Love Time
This does not have to be a hard life to love. There is not enough time to let it stray too far from my hands.
SCHUYLER

Enough Hands Hard Life Love Myself Time
People have been washed away by less. I’ll take every step gently. So often, you can’t tell the rush of a riptide until you’re already at sea.
SCHUYLER

Myself People Sea Wash
I’m choosing to believe things are getting better again. The give and take of joy, remembering a few days of ache does not mean forever.
SCHUYLER

Believe Better Choice Forever Myself Remember
I allow myself to be a weathervane; receive every feeling that greets the shore of me.
SCHUYLER

Allow Feeling Greatness Myself
I still know the fabric of where I begin and end.
SCHUYLER

Beginning End Fabric Myself
I want to wade into the water on the sidewalk, crawl out of this feeling without giving it a name. Take a lighter to love’s sticky edges so its sadness isn’t caught in my throat.
SCHUYLER

Catch Myself Name Sadness Water
We’ve never seen what a happy life could look like if we chose to spend it by ourselves – sharing our beautiful lives with friends, family members, the occasional crush, and lounging out in that quiet space alone as if an idyllic sunned beach.
SCHUYLER

Choice Family Friendship Happiness Life Ourselves Quiet Space
Change is not a four letter curse word I once believed it to be.
SCHUYLER

Believe Change Curse Myself
I never lose pieces of me, I just gain new understanding.
SCHUYLER

Lose Myself Perspective Pieces Understand

This does not have to be a hard life to love. There is not enough time to let it stray too far from my hands.

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This does not have to be a hard life to love. There is not enough time to let it stray too far from my hands.

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