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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Born Doctor Mother Slap Ugly

Bagwalas

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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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Act Actor Each Expose Himself Nide Time
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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Breast Fed Friend Like Me Mover never Only She Told
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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Bartender Plumber Psychiatrist See Seen Told Truth Wife
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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Already Always Eye Garbage Keep Me Rid She Told Try Wife
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Fed Me Mother Shot Sing So Ugly Use
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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Again Boyfriend Broke Her Marriage Trock Up Wife
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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Dog Drink Glass Kiss Lip Married Stay Tough Wife
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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Ask How Big People Pet Store Work
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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Frink Last Much Olive Sample Time Too
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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Brown Dentist Go Teeth Tie Told Wear Yellow
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Born I Morning Mother Sickness
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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Father Finger Kidnap More Piece Proof Remember Sent Time Want
One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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Ask Birth Boy Control One Poster Year

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