Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDI went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD






