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A mode of being that the way of life about me had said could not be, must not be, and upon which the penalty of death had been placed.

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The locomotive of my heart was rushing down a dangerously steep slope, heading for a collision, heedless of the warning red lights that blinked all about me, the sirens and the ells and the screams that filled the air.
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Ait Blink Collision Down Fill Heading Heedless Red Rush Scream Steep
It would have been impossible for me to have told anyone what I derived from these novels, for it was nothing less than a sense of life itself.
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I did not know if the story was factually true or not, but it was emotionally true […].
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And they do not know why; they are powerless pawns in a blind play of social forces.
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We had our own literature, our own systems of law, religion, medicine, science, and education.
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Education Literature Medicine Own Religion Science System
What could I dream of that had the barest possibility of coming true?
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I could think of nothing. And, slowly, it was upon exactly that nothingness that my mind began to dwell, that constant sense of wanting without having, of being hated without reason.
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It had been only through books-at best, no more than vicarious cultural transfusions-that I had managaed to keep myself alive in a negatively vital way.
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Kill them, turn back time to the moment before I had talked so that I could have another chance to save myself.
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Another Back Before Talk Chance Kill Moment Myself Save Turn
No matter how much he would long for them to forget him, they would not be able to. His family was a part of him, not only in blood, but in spirit.
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Anything seemed possible, likely, feasible, because I wanted everything to be possible… Because I had no power to make things happen outside of me in the objective world.
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They hate because they fear, and they fear because they feel that the deepest feelings of their lives are being assaulted and outraged.
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I was leaving the South to fling myself into the unknown . . .
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You usually take it for granted and think you know us, but our history is far stranger than you suspect, and we are not what we seem.
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It was not a matter of believing or disbelieving what I read, but of feeling something new, of being affected by something that made the look of the world different.
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All literature is protest.
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