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I didn’t know I was really alive in this world until I felt things hard enough to kill for ’em.

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I endowed it with unlimited potentialities, redeemed it for the sake of my own hungry and cloudy yearning.
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What could I dream of that had the barest possibility of coming true?
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The spirit I had caught gave me insight into the suffering of others, made me gravitate toward those whose feelings were like my own, made me sit for hours while others told me of their lives, made me strangely tender and cruel, violent and peaceful.
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But to feel that there was feeling denied me, that the very breath of life itself was beyond my reach, that more than anything else hurt, wounded me. I had a new hunger.
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I made things happen within. Because my environment was bare and bleak,
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Whenever my environment had failed to support or nourish me, I had clutched at books.
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