Two Quotes

There are just two people entitled to refer to themselves as “we”; one is the editor and the other is the fellow with a tapeworm.

Studies of volunteers have shown there is a benefit to performing acts of love for other people.

Annually, two to four million animals are euthanized, and we can bring that number down significantly by going to our local shelter and adopting and also by spaying and neutering your pets.

Beulah has a husband?’ I know. It’s a miracle. There can’t be more than two people on the planet who’d be willing to sleep with her, and here we are both in the same town.

One is that you legislate according to natural selection, the other is that you don’t. You have compassion, you try and help people. It’s a fundamental clash between two people who happen to love each other, which complicates everything.

I’m very impatient. I am. That’s the bane of my game. I don’t think about what I’m going to do – I just go hit it, I don’t stop to wait and think. Costs me two shots a round.

I always told my team two things: Never expect them to give you anything and always expect them to make the next shot.

[Sex] is something big and cosmic. What else do we have? There’s only birth and death and the union of two people – and sex is the only one that happens to us more than once.

The Revelation was my master’s project, and after I finished it, I thought I’d send it off to a publisher and within a year or so be a rich and famous writer.

Another trouble with poetry – and I’m gonna stop the list at two – is the presence of presumptuousness in poetry.