There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
QUENTIN CRISPThe gymnasiacs of Venice, in California, are so addicted to these practices that there has arisen a nation of men who can no longer put their arms against their sides
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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I went out into the world when I was about 22. I wrote books and I illustrated books and did book covers, and I taught tap-dancing, and I was a model in the art school. I had no ability for any of those things, but what else could I do?
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Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who…have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies.
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It’s been agony but I couldn’t have done it any other way.
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One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
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What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.
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Abatement in the hostility of one’s enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat.
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Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
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If you don’t stay in some days, you can’t recharge your batteries.
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What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
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I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
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Fashion is a way of not having to decide who you are. Style is deciding who you are and being able to perpetuate it.
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I never spend my time doing anything I’ll have to do again tomorrow.
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Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret.
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Flowers are words even a baby can understand.
QUENTIN CRISP