I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
QUENTIN CRISPOur clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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It’s a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
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What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
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Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
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The more people one has to love, the more one’s capacity to love stretches.
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If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”
QUENTIN CRISP -
In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.
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I never saw Portsmouth by day.
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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
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The world now seems a stunningly ignoble place. It has not really grown all that much worse but appears to have done so because we know so much more about it than we did.
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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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Men get laid, but women get screwed.
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In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
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Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke:
QUENTIN CRISP