In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.
QUENTIN CRISPThe very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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I don’t really act. I say the words the way I would say them if I meant them.
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The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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The … problem that confronts homosexuals is that they set out to win the love of a “real” man. If they succeed, they fail. A man who “goes with” other men is not what they would call a real man. The conundrum is incapable of resolution, but that does not make homosexuals give it up.
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If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”
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A fair share of anything is starvation diet to an egomaniac.
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
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My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
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For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
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Never sweep. After four years the dirt gets no worse.
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It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.
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While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it’s vastly overrated, it’s frequently unnecessary, and it’s messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.
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I went out into the world when I was about 22. I wrote books and I illustrated books and did book covers, and I taught tap-dancing, and I was a model in the art school. I had no ability for any of those things, but what else could I do?
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The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.
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Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
QUENTIN CRISP