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What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

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Christmas Day Job Look Next Office Party

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, ‘Take off your clothes’?
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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… if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don’t let them put the year.
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You’ve got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It’s when somebody steps on the bride’s train, or belches during the ceremony that you’ve got comedy!
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
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By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
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The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
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I’m the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.
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To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won’t have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.
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I was the world’s ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads… I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said ‘Grab the blade!
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What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Christmas Day Job Look Next Office Party
If my jeans could talk, they’d plead for mercy.
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