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What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

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Christmas Day Job Look Next Office Party

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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Bed Course Fang Gone Mad Month Three True Was Year
I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
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Chocolate Dirt Like Serve Show
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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Ask Country Football Good Hairdresser Helmet Look People Person Say
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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Any Argument Bank Been Cab Country Just Robbed Three Time
I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
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Bury Clear Dead Dinner Food Phase Serve Table Three
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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Bachelor Guy Made Mistake Once Some
I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’
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Feature Made never That What
By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
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Common Crave Far Mist Pregnant Prepare Women
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
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Blouse Once Peekaboo People Peek Too Wore
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Bed Fight Go never Stay Up
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
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Dog Every Go Howl Near Stove Time
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Finish Half Hour Last Minute
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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Do Life Practice Work Yourself
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
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Ask Country Once Out People Player Room
You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
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Aligator Barefoot Compliment Know Shoe Someone
In most states you can get a driver’s license when you’re sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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Drive License Made Most Now Old Sense Sixteen State Year

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