Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
P. J. O'ROURKEAdam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt.
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the ’70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement.
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The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry – knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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Why do elites hate the poor? It’s xenophobia. They don’t know any poor people – except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don’t speak English.
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If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
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Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'ROURKE