Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'ROURKEIn its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
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I’m old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
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The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren’t carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth.
P. J. O'ROURKE