black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.

P. J. O'Rourke

A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Humorist Much Note Really Talk
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Draft Duty People Political Politician Select Self System
When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Elite Gutter Homeless Park Person Place Say
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adult Deal Great Health Mind Other Slow Spoil Turn Word Young
The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry – knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Billow Chivalry Dress Health Jerkin Knight Lady Sidesaddle Think Wimple
If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Death Heard Shock Somebody Starved
There is a simple rule here, a rule of legislation, a rule of business, a rule of life: beyond a certain point, complexity is fraud. You can apply that rule to left-wing social programs, but you can also apply that rule to credit derivatives, hedge funds, all the rest of it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Beyond Business Certain Complexity Fraud Legislation Rule Simply Time
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Government Illegal Product Sell
Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Benefit Divorce Good Long Married Stay Sympathy Ter
Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Artistic Country Impact Life Tremendous Woodstock
You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Detroit Down Elite History Think
All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bad Change Done Sometimes
The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
P. J. O'ROURKE

Administration Attack Country Gun Hell Nut President Religious
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Greet Hat Lady Nothing Off Stupid Taken
The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Better Body Forever Lesson Often Older Presence Sort Teach Thing
The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren’t carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Carry Country Crow Exile Extermination Law Passage Perpetuation Savery

The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes