Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
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Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God’s grace.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'ROURKE