Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
P. J. O'ROURKEYou can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
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I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
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Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
P. J. O'ROURKE