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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.

P. J. O'Rourke

The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Communist Country Economy End Failure Line Long Made People Soviet
Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There’s more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it’s awfully close to human.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adaptively Computer Little Native Odd Science Seem Social Society Strange
I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Analysis Commentary Fellow High Member News Place Quite Source
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Endless Foreigner God Lousy Politics Right Wrong
If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Economic Hour Language People Place Political Seventy Social Spend Talk Two
The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Being Brat Irresponsible Spoil World
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Come Creep Duty Enfeeble Evil Human Law Plan Rule
My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Dad Die Fellow Haste Marry Mom Sense Young
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Alcohol Anyway Fundamental Look Source Tets Trouble
I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Earn Earring Mom Pubescent Sensitive Some Tongue Toug Twerp
Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Flatter Gossip Object Present
New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State’s registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they’re going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can’t understand what they say.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Independent New Poll Registered Republican Unreliable
I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Favor Invasion Mush
People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ant Bee Collective Live Love People Reason
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Give Government Money Poer Teenage Whiskey
The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Big Each Era Shirt Thought

Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.

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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.

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