People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
P. J. O'ROURKEWealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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I rarely meet a politician that I don’t like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
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The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
P. J. O'ROURKE