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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

P. J. O'Rourke

Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bit Difficult Express Fiction Government More Past Size Something
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Advocate Charity Compulsory Government Merely Politician Virtue
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Government Make Mystery People Stop
I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Around Brown Country Dog Everything Except House Kid Look
You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Detroit Down Elite History Think
Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Except Love never Unfaithful Wife
Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn’t matter.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Cash Change Climate Climatologist Matter Maybe Research Threat Troll
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Government Illegal Product Sell
Rich people don’t like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don’t go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Military People Revolution Rich Shoe Terrorism Uniform
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Endless Foreigner God Lousy Politics Right Wrong
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Come Creep Duty Enfeeble Evil Human Law Plan Rule
Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Box Domino Eat Many Pizza Slice Wealth
The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Factor Put Room Themselves Two
All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bad Change Done Sometimes
Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Catch Contemporary Country English Flourish Phrase
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Cleanliness Godliness Important More Unlikely

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

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