“Cunning cheats itself wholly, and other people partially.”

He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses his courage loses all.

When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?

I know who I am and who I may be, if I choose.

Delay always breeds danger.

The wicked are always ungrateful.

Wit and humor belong to genius alone.

Since we have a good loaf, let us not look for cheesecakes.

For neither good nor evil can last for ever; and so it follows that as evil has lasted a long time, good must now be close at hand.

Everything disturbs an absent lover.

Riches are of little avail in many of the calamities to which mankind are liable.

That one man scorned and covered with scars Still strove with his last ounce of courage To reach the unreachable star.

Virtue is the truest nobility.

For a man to attain to an eminent degree in learning costs him time, watching, hunger, nakedness, dizziness in the head, weakness in the stomach, and other inconveniences.

Anyone who does not know how to make the most of his luck has no right to complain if it passes by him.

The pen is the tongue of the mind.

The gratification of wealth is not found in mere possession or in lavish expenditure, but in its wise application.

Every great mind seeks to labor for eternity. All men are captivated by immediate advantages; great minds alone are excited by the prospect of distant good.

One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.

Men keep their agreements when it is an advantage to both parties not to break them; and I shall so frame my laws that it will be evident to the Athenians that it will be for their interest to observe them.

Men keep agreements when it is to the advantage of neither to break them.

The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.

I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.

An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

Don’t be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard.