“When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her.”

The world is all a carcass and vanity, The shadow of a shadow, a play And in one word, just nothing.

There is perhaps no more obvious vanity than to write of it so vainly.

Wit is a dangerous weapon, even to the possessor, if he knows not how to use it discreetly.

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.

I do not speak the minds of others except to speak my own mind better.

Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.

There is not much less vexation in the government of a private family than in the managing of an entire state.

I write to keep from going mad from the contradictions I find among mankind – and to work some of those contradictions out for myself.

The confidence in another man’s virtue is no light evidence of a man’s own, and God willingly favors such a confidence.

Covetousness is both the beginning and the end of the devil’s alphabet – the first vice in corrupt nature that moves, and the last which dies.

It is a sign of contraction of the mind when it is content, or of weariness. A spirited mind never stops within itself; it is always aspiring and going beyond its strength.

In true education, anything that comes to our hand is as good as a book.

Ignorance is the softest pillow on which a man can rest his head.

There is little less trouble in governing a private family than a whole kingdom.

I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.

How many condemnations I have witnessed more criminal than the crime!

Be prepared to be enlightened, enraged, amused, engaged, and above all provoked.

The degradation which characterizes the state into which you plunge him by punishing him pleases, amuses, and delights him.

Tacos.” “tacos?” i echoed. This seemed to amuse him. “tomatoes, lettuce, cheese.” “i know what a taco is!

Be amusing: never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones.

I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I’ll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points.

Be sincere. Be simple in words, manners, and gestures. Amuse as well as instruct.

I cut my teeth playing rock songs on the accordion when I was a teenager and my friends always thought that was extremely amusing.

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them.