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I want to carve my insides out with a rusty spoon. It would be less painful.

Maggie Bowyer

On my worst days, my brain tries to trick me into wishing I stayed. It’s really trying to convince me that I didn’t deserve to survive.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Brain Deserve Stay Survive Worst
I was only ten the first time I remember getting stabbed. My agony pierced the air with a sickening scream.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Agony Air Pain Scream Stab Time
I want to find my soul rather than lose it.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Finding Loss Lost Soul
You’d read between my lines, You’d seen truths I had tried to deny all my life. You had read poems that were tucked neatly under my sheets, words I never meant anyone to read.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Friend Life Relationship Truth Word Yourself
Have I been buried alive by chronic pain? I can taste the dirt as they put me in the earth, thick on my lips like the honey that drips down my lips.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Alive Dirt Earth Honey Hurt Lips Pain
I’m stoned on a nice boat ride. I fake a smile, you fake a life.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Fake Life Nice Numb Smile
There was no way to save her. Believe me i wanted to. But how could I, when I could barely save myself.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Believe Ending Save Way
I’m actually great at being alone. It was being abandoned that was hard.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Abandonment Alone Great Hard
You’ve retracted your rays of warmth. You’ve pulled the clouds to cover sunlight. I think everyone is growing more concerned as the days keep passing and you’re still absent.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Absence Growth Ray Sun Warmth Yourself
I can scream into every passing storm cloud, but that will not bring you back. I can yell at god as i sob over crinkled pictures, but all i can grasp are memories.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Break Up God Hurt Memories Picture Scream
I’d rather suffer in silence than be subjected to deafening stares. I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship with my body, no one can see the bruises.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Body Bruise Hurt Pain Relationship Silence Suffering
I hope you grow. I hope you change. It almost didn’t fazed me, when you chose her. You always wanted what you ‘have.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Change Choose Growth Her Relationship
The very act of surviving in a world that does nothing but reject you is an act of revolution.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Revolution Survive World Yourself
There are versions of myself I will never recover, stolen by moments i will forever remember.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Forever Moments Myself Recover Stole Yourself
The last time you backstabbed me I grew a backbone. I should thank you.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Thank You Yourself
You were right I don’t think I was good for your mental health But I highly doubt anyone could be.
MAGGIE BOWYER

Doubt Good Health Mental Yourself

I want to carve my insides out with a rusty spoon. It would be less painful.

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I want to carve my insides out with a rusty spoon. It would be less painful.

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