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I want real loyalty. I want someone who will kiss my ass in Macy’s window, and say it smells like roses.

Lyndon B. Johnson

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Kiss Loyalty Reality Relationship Rose

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Jerry Ford is so dumb he can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. He’s a nice fellow, but he spent too much time playing football without a helmet.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

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Doing what’s right isn’t the problem. It is knowing what’s right.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

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I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.
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Democracy is a constant tension between truth and half-truth and, in the arsenal of truth, there is no greater weapon than fact.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Democracy Government Greatness Honesty Truth Weapon
To hunger for use and to go unused is the worst hunger of all.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Inspirational Worst
When the burdens of the presidency seem unusually heavy, I always remind myself it could be worse. I could be a mayor.
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Government Myself Worst
I will not seek, and I will not accept the nomination of my party for another term as your president.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Acceptance Myself Seek Yourself
To sustain an environment suitable for man, we must fight on a thousand battlegrounds. Despite all of our wealth and knowledge, we cannot create a redwood forest, a wild river, or a gleaming seashore.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Battle Creation Fight Knowledge Man Ourselves Sea Wealth Wild
Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Man Night Right
The Russians feared Ike. They didn’t fear me.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Fear History Myself Politics War
If you have a mother-in-law with only one eye and she has it in the center of her forehead, don’t keep her in the living room.
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Eyes Law Mother Room Yourself
I do not find it easy to send the flower of our youth, our finest young men, into battle.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Battle Flower Men Myself Youth
There are no problems we cannot solve together, and very few that we can solve by ourselves.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Ourselves Problem Relationship Togetherness Unity
If you let a bully come in and chase you out of your front yard, he’ll be on your porch and the next day he’ll rape your wife in your own bed.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Himself Mental Oppression Sex Violence Wife Yourself
Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

Inspirational Life Lose Motivational Ourselves Success Win
Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON

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