I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
LILY TOMLINNinety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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We are all in this together, by ourselves.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
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I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
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Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
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Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
LILY TOMLIN