“I try to bring the audience’s own drama – tears and laughter they know about – to them.”

How strange when an illusion dies. It’s as though you’ve lost a child.

I’ve seen the ticket, and I still can’t believe it. When I see the money, I hope I don’t hit the floor.

If I am a legend, then why am I so lonely?

I was born in a lovely white house with a garden.

To let a fool kiss you is bad. To let a kiss fool you is worse. ‘Twas not my lips you kissed but my soul.

We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon illusion, and put to death by reality.

I can live without money, but I cannot live without love.

I was born at the age of twelve on an MGM lot.

I’ve always taken ‘The Wizard of Oz’ very seriously, you know. I believe in the idea of the rainbow. And I’ve spent my entire life trying to get over it.

Give the people what they want and then go have a hamburger.

When I die I have visions of fags singing ‘Over the Rainbow’ and the flag at Fire Island being flown at half mast.

People en masse have always been wonderful to me. I truly have a great love for an audience. I want to give them two hours of just pow.

Audiences have kept me alive.

When you have lived the life I’ve lived, when you’ve loved and suffered, and been madly happy and desperately sad — well, that’s when you realize you’ll never be able to set it all down. Maybe you’d rather die first.

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.

The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart.

I see the footlights in front of me. I hear the whisperings of the audience. I feel an icy shudder. Win or die! Now or never! It’s the crisis of my life.

Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.

After the band loaded in and the curtain opened, we realized there was exactly one paying customer in the audience.

When you’re doing stand-up, you achieve an intimacy with the audience you can’t get on TV. There’s not a better feeling in the entire world then when you look out and see the audience is identifying with you.

I’ve always been lucky enough to have great audiences. It has been quite a life.

Maybe the actors that used to turn down William Goldman’s scripts – where he wanted them to stretch and grow, and he was mad at ’em, and said, “Why won’t they be a real actor?” – maybe they just knew their audience. It’s too bad.

Drawing is the most inalienable medium. It is private; it practically doesn’t have an audience in mind, just the artist’s expression.

Finally, it is the communicating link between the screen and the audience, reaching out and enveloping all into one single experience.