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My mind is not my own. I don’t recognize her when I am alone.

Jessica Wilde

I lace barbed wire around my heart, constrict it – pull tight, maybe the pain will make it feel alive, and I can pretend it didn’t already die.
JESSICA WILDE

Death Feeling Heart Myself Pain Pretend
When rules don’t make sense, ask questions, break barriers, rise above it all.
JESSICA WILDE

Break Question Rise Rule
I simply cannot hold onto hope, it aches like possibilities never reached, I’m bubbling over with grief – this chaos has caused so much loss and fatigue.
JESSICA WILDE

Fatigue Grief Hope Loss Possible Reach Simplicity
Time aches- my words break as if they’re the wings of a captured butterfly as if they’re the seconds that keep ticking by as if they’re embers that refuse to ignite.
JESSICA WILDE

Break Ignite Refusal Time Word
You were refreshing. Your idea of love infused me with hope and joy.
JESSICA WILDE

Happiness Hope Idea Love Refresh Yourself
The sea calls to me – she promises to set me free, it’s tempting- losing myself in her vastness allowing her to swallow me whole, beckoning me to make her deep darkness my forever home.
JESSICA WILDE

Call Forever Home Myself Promise Sea Swallow
I am swept beneath your current – it pulls me in, and I don’t even try to swim.
JESSICA WILDE

Current Myself Try
And the world seems just a little bit warmer, and the sun shines slightly brighter than it used to, and the days pass differently than before, and time is no longer stuck in a loop.
JESSICA WILDE

Bright Different Shine Sun Time Warm World
When winter withers – my bones begin to thaw, my lungs crackle as they expand, and the blood in my veins start to flow and I awaken from hibernation – hungry for happiness and eager to let go.
JESSICA WILDE

Awake Beginning Bone Flow Happiness Hungry Let Go Start Winter
I learned all about love from people that didn’t know how to love me.
JESSICA WILDE

Learning Love Myself People
A wooded winter trail awaits, no footprints pressed upon the snow – a path I dared not once to take but now – I must go.
JESSICA WILDE

Await Dare Myself Snow Winter
Lavender lullabies whispered into night skies, remnants of galaxies cradled closely, as you sleep sweetly, time slips away and so do I.
JESSICA WILDE

Galaxy Myself Night Sky Time Whisper
Expanding like the universe, I discovered galaxies within. To break glass ceilings: Breath in trust, exhale doubt-beckon bravery.
JESSICA WILDE

Brave Breathe Discover Expand Galaxy Myself Universe
I chip and carve until I’m a corpse – a bone with no marrow, or a sparrow without wings, a vein without wings, a vein without blood, a puppet with no strings.
JESSICA WILDE

Blood Bone Death Myself Wings
Lost journals are steps back home, like the mending of broken bones, like scars that act as patches to my soul, like the measurement marks on my mother’s wall that show just how much I’ve grown.
JESSICA WILDE

Growth Home Journal Lost Mark Measurement Mom Myself Scars Wall
Misty morning welcomes me as I wander through the trees – calm amidst the chaos of distant memories.
JESSICA WILDE

Chaos Distant Memories Morning Welcome

My mind is not my own. I don’t recognize her when I am alone.

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My mind is not my own. I don’t recognize her when I am alone.

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