“Liberalism itself has failed, and for a pretty good reason. It has been too often compromised by the people who represented it.”

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn’t got one.

It gave me a strange feeling, and the rest of that night I didn’t say much, but merely sat there and drank, trying to decide if I was getting older and wiser, or just plain old.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

With the truth so dull and depressing, the only working alternative is wild bursts of madness and filigree.

If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up.

There is something fresh and crisp about the first hours of a Caribbean day, a happy anticipation that something is about to happen, maybe just up the street or around the next corner.

Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

All the blood is drained out of democracy – it dies – when only half the population votes.

Insanity is a legal term. Crazy is an art form.

I believe the Republicans have never thought that democracy was anything but a tribal myth.

The most important thing a writer can have [is] the ability to live with the constant loneliness and a strong sense of revulsion for the banalities of everyday socializing.

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

I never knew where I was going, but I ripped the tits off of everything that got in my way. By the time they figured me out, it was too late.

I miss Nixon. Compared to these Nazis we have in the White House now, Richard Nixon was a flaming liberal.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

Good news is rare these days, and every glittering ounce of it should be cherished and hoarded and worshipped and fondled like a priceless diamond.

My thing with failure, just forget about it and get up and do it again.

When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”

Failure isn’t loss, its growth, success and wisdom.

If you can meet success and failure and treat them both as impostors, then you are a balanced man, my son.

The constant desire of pleasing which is the peculiar quality of some, may be called the happiest of all desires in this that it rarely fails of attaining its end when not disgraced by affectation.

People, for reasons of their own, often fail to do things that would be good for them or good for society. Those failures – joined with the similar failures of others – can readily have a substantial effect on interstate commerce.

We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.

A minute’s success pays the failure of years.