“We endeavor to conceal our vices under the disguise of the opposite virtues.”

Public schools are the nurseries of all vice and immorality.

When I mention religion I mean the Christian religion; and not only the Christian religion, but the Protestant religion; and not only the Protestant religion, but the Church of England.

The slander of some people is as great a recommendation as the praise of others.

It is not from nature, but from education and habits, that our wants are chiefly derived.

A lottery is a taxation on all of the fools in creation.

Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.

There is no zeal blinder than that which is inspired with a love of justice against offenders.

Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.

Human life very much resembles a game of chess: for, as in the latter, while a gamester is too attentive to secure himself very strongly on one side of the board, he is apt to leave an unguarded opening on the other, so doth it often happen in life.

Neither great poverty nor great riches will hear reason.

Riches without charity are nothing worth. They are a blessing only to him who makes them a blessing to others.

For I hope my Friends will pardon me, when I declare, I know none of them without a Fault; and I should be sorry if I could imagine, I had any Friend who could not see mine. Forgiveness, of this Kind, we give and demand in Turn.

Wine and youth are fire upon fire.

Most men like in women what is most opposite their own characters.

Thwackum was for doing justice, and leaving mercy to heaven.

Tea! The panacea for everything from weariness to a cold to a murder Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.

Every experience is really just a lesson in disguise. Don’t let it go to waste.

Pain is a two-way street, sometimes it drags you till the verge of insanity and sometimes it is a blessing in disguise. 

We are like roses that have never bothered to bloom when we should have bloomed and it is as if the sun has become disgusted with waiting.

You look like an angel, walk like an angel, talk like an angel. But I got wise, you’re the devil in disguise.

It often turns out on closer inspection that acts of apparent altruism are really selfishness in disguise.

It often turns out on closer inspection that acts of apparent altruism are really selfishness in disguise.

So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality.

Sex is like nose picking. It’s fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it’s disgusting watching someone else doing it.