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Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.

Henry Cloud

A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word ‘no.’ Love respects ‘no,’ control does not.
HENRY CLOUD

Control Goodness Person Reaction Relationship Respond Test
If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.
HENRY CLOUD

Attitude Build Communication Culture Expectation Honesty Performance
Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
HENRY CLOUD

Endurance Goodness Growth Pain Resistance
Because dating is a human exercise, it can be a tightrope fraught with danger. You will be dating imperfect people, and some of them are more imperfect than others. In addition, you are not perfect either, so that complicates the picture.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
One of the worst things you can die with is potential.
HENRY CLOUD

Death Oneself Potential Worst
You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.
HENRY CLOUD

Face Freedom Lose Order Right
In a very real way, ownership is the essence of leadership. When you are ridiculously in charge, then you own whatever happens in a company, school.
HENRY CLOUD

Company Essence Leadership Reality School Way
Encourage literally came from “in courage.” The courage is put “into” you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.
HENRY CLOUD

Character Courage Encouragement Growth Ourselves Possession
The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.
HENRY CLOUD

Adjust Fools Himself Truth
There’s no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.
HENRY CLOUD

Control Freedom Love Marriage Partner Relationship Slave
It is true that you get what you tolerate.
HENRY CLOUD

Tolerate True Yourself
If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you ‘do’ boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.
HENRY CLOUD

Boundary Breathe Experience Reality Remember Training Yourself
Diligence is not easy, but we can’t reach our goals without it.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
A culture is like an immune system. It operates through the laws of systems, just like a body. If a body has an infection, the immune system deals with it. Similarly, a group enforces its norms, either actively or passively.
HENRY CLOUD

Active Culture Group Immunity Infection System
We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
HENRY CLOUD

Behavior Change Motivational Ourselves Pain

Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.

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Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.

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