Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKENEvery normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
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A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
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Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.
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Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
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Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true.
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Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
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Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
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It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
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Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
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Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
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The only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address was that it was the South, not the North, that was fighting for a government of the people, by the people and for the people.
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
H. L. MENCKEN