Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.
H. L. MENCKENEvery normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
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The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it’s good-bye to the Bill of Rights.
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Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
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It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
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The chief difference between free capitalism and State socialism seems to be this: that under the former a man pursues his own advantage openly, frankly and honestly, whereas under the latter he does so hypocritically and under false pretenses.
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Government’s great contribution to human wisdom is the discovery that the taxpayer has more than one pocket.
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
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The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
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It doesn’t take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
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When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
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The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.
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Change is not progress.
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On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
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Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKEN