Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX