Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX