Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX