A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX