Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX