Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX