Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARXThe trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX