I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARXThe trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX