Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLINThere are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLIN