You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNSHappiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
More George Burns Quotes
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS