The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.
FRANK ZAPPAThe computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.
More Frank Zappa Quotes
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
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Music is the most physically inspiring of all the arts.
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If you pick up a guitar and it says, ‘take me, I’m yours,’ then that’s the one for you.
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My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
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Jazz isn’t dead. It just smells funny.
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A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
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Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.
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Stupidity has a certain charm – ignorance does not.
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May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.
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Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
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The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.
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The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.
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Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.
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Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.
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There are only two things to remember. Number one: Don’t Stop, and number two: Keep going!
FRANK ZAPPA