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Erma Bombeck Quote - I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK

End God Hope Inspirational Life Motivational Myself Success Talent
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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Funny Pieces Travel Yourself
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Brain Damage Funny Injury
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Food Funny Path Tough
When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Appearance Home Humor Time Travel Yourself
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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Children make your life important.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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