black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I’m not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?

Emo Philips

All the nations of the earth must learn to live together in peace. Why be prejudiced against anyone because of their race, nationality, or creed? When there’s so many real reasons to hate others.
EMO PHILIPS

Earth Hate Live Nation Peace Prejudice Reality Reason Togetherness
When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That’s what gave me the courage.
EMO PHILIPS

Age Courage Myself School Time
One man’s pet-stained carpet is another man’s Twister game.
EMO PHILIPS

Carpet Game Man Oneself
I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
EMO PHILIPS

Funny Lesson Money Myself Teaching Walk Wallet
I’m learning Cuban. It’s like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
EMO PHILIPS

Item Language Learning Luxury Myself
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
EMO PHILIPS

Cheating Funny Herself Man Relationship See
Now there’s a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?
EMO PHILIPS

Angry Buy Period Wait Weapon
Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.
EMO PHILIPS

Drop Food Funny Myself Relationship Spoon
I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don’t know what he looks like.
EMO PHILIPS

Friendship Myself Surgery
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
EMO PHILIPS

Myself Organ Thinking Wonderful
Don’t wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?
EMO PHILIPS

Animal Clothes Fashion Yourself
My parents were very protective. I couldn’t even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.
EMO PHILIPS

Excitement Myself Parents Protection Road Street
The American government is making nuclear weapons like there’s no tomorrow.
EMO PHILIPS

Future Government Myself Weapon
My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn’t have sex quite so often.
EMO PHILIPS

Mom Often Quite Sex Sister
I’d be in the backyard minding my own business. The other kids would call me names, like meatball head or neo-Calvinist. I’d run after them, but lucky for them the chain would snap my neck back.
EMO PHILIPS

Business Call Mindset Myself Name Neck
I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
EMO PHILIPS

Black Hands Myself Purpose Wife

I’m not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I’m not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Emo Philips Quotes