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I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.

Ellen DeGeneres

It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cucumbers Juice Source Water
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Happiness Key Keys Realizing
I’m glad I’m funny. I’m glad I make people happy, because that’s very important. But I’m proud to be known as a kind person.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Compassion Kindness People
Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Party Sorry Wall
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dog Funny Humor
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Party Streamers Wall
I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bottles Glasses Half
Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Honesty Inspiring Kindness
So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Government Mean Sarcasm
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Brain Funny Hands Humor
I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Goes On Saws Vegan
I was raised in an atmosphere of ‘everything’s fine.’ But as I got older, I was like, ‘Well no, everything’s not fine. There is stuff that’s sad.’ I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Atmosphere Person Sensitive Thinking
Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Gay Hilarious Judging
I like to try new things because I get bored so easily.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bored New Things Trying
I don’t really ever live my life in fear. I really live my life in gratitude and feeling positive for the most part.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Gratitude Life Living
You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dresses Funny Humor

I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.

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Popular Authors

I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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