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In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.

Ellen DeGeneres

There are people who study germs. I believe they are called Germans
ELLEN DEGENERES

Believe Germs People
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Asparagus Funny Humor
I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Funny Humor
Come on, if you don’t win tonight it doesn’t mean you’re not a good person, it just means you’re not a good actor.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Mean Person
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor
I’ve learned 2 things about tv. It’s always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES
ELLEN DEGENERES

Humor Philippines Singers Television
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Phone Reality Technology
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Day Enjoy Growing Mistake
I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who’s making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Coffee Design Tables
Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Life Procrastination
Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feet Hurt Shoes
We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Emphasis Energy Happy Vibrant
Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don’t think we hurt anyone else’s marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they’re fine
ELLEN DEGENERES

Gay Happiest Hurt Thinking
Yeah I’m thirty-six, but on the show I’m thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fake People Reality Years
It was so important for me to lose everything, because I found out what the most important thing is, which is to be true to yourself.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Challenges Important True Yourself
I just like observing people – it’s something I’ve done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That’s a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Comedians Kids People

In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.

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Popular Authors

In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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