It’s hard when paparazzi are photographing every single thing you do. I’m sure a lot of people made mistakes – they just were not documented the way they are now.
ELLEN DEGENERESProcrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
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I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
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Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.
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If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don’t memorize numbers anymore.
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I’m a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.
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Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
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Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.
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You just have to keep driving down the road. It’s going to bend and curve and you’ll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.
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Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
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People give me such a hard time because I don’t wear dresses. What’s that got to do with anything?
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Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
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I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore – like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
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I admire people who know they can’t sing. There are so many people out there who can’t sing, but they think they can, so they sing a lot.
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We’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
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Dan: ‘Ah, well, I hope this didn’t have anything to do with me.’ Ellen: ‘No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.
ELLEN DEGENERES






