You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERESProcrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
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It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
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I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
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I had everything I’d hoped for, but I wasn’t being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn’t like me for being… me.
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I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That’s really why I do what I do.
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I didn’t go to college at all, any college, and I’m not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.
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We’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
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It was so important for me to lose everything, because I found out what the most important thing is, which is to be true to yourself.
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I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
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For some reason, we can’t just enjoy somebody else’s success. Somehow, that’s going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less – and I don’t know why.
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I had a really tough time for a few years. My show was gone. My phone wasn’t ringing. There wasn’t one job offer. And at that point, I thought I knew for sure that I wouldn’t work in Hollywood again.
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I care passionately about equal rights [and] animal rights.
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Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
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Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
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I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I’ve started a record label, so I get to nurture new talent and talk about music, which is a passion of mine. I’ve written another book. And I get to come to work and do the TV show, which is always really fun.
ELLEN DEGENERES